Saturday, 13 December 2014

"I'm trying...I'm living...I'm giving...to find you"

"I'm trying...I'm living...I'm giving...to find you" Syd Barrett plays on in the background as I write this blog. I spend a stray thought on the meaning of the song, and I cant help but feel it's an analogy for life where "Opel" is the meaning we are born as who we are to find. The entire song is a tedious journey to the part where syd plays his Opel.
We are all trying to find "it" and "it" is never clear to us in all our life except for those moments where it is the only thing. I can't say anything that I haven't said already, pew pew life pew pew reality. Boom boom pish. *smoke exit*
I understand again that what I do is foremost for me, to satiate my own unrelenting need for meaning. I'm just hoping by throwing out through words my compassion that I will find 'it' in time in space. I see people obsessed in life, and I understand it as much is possible by me to see it through their eyes, yet I cascade into judgments that I share with those I judge. Life is beautiful, the good and bad together. The stretched balance is wonderful and having considered perfection of reality I understood that perfect balance will be maintained for a lifetime in some reality in time and space and we will all be there but not as what we are at the moment; by a different consciousness, perhaps a single consciousness where all of us are One and can acknowledge it.
Here I go again, flying off into the future that is beyond the reckoning of any individual mind yet trying to comprehend meaning. I pause and consider my environment, looking at my thumb as it bounces off the keypad shooting meaning through the magic of technology to a form which is comprehensible by all minds tuned to English. My breath, as it escapes my nostrils I feel emptiness fill my insides before I suck in air again and an element with 8 electrons mixes in my blood and gives meaning to different forms carbon in me to unleash energy to keep me awake and consciousness. The perfection of it all is obvious, perhaps too much so because it passes our mind as below any gratitude. All things share this inextinguishable bond with everything else, existing in real time and space always yet only visible through perception. Maybe "it" always rests in between the space between moments, and we are too focused on the changing moments to acknowledge our true nature.
It is hippi talk, it is not however 'Rastafarian' movement as an acquaintance once said, not that there is anything wrong with it. I suppose mocking other existences for existing is healthy when the different actions of different beings require it. "To each his own" is a phrase which strikes gold to provide peace to even poles apart personalities.  It is absolutely fine if someone doesn't understand how you work and do not, because neither do you entirely and this latent ability of even egoistic minds to surprise them self is proof to me that we are guided by a force which is omnipotent.
Here's to a happy existence and hoping you would find your 'it' in the right moment. Cheers.