Sunday, 18 August 2013

Luck? Balance? Destiny?

Since I can remember, the concept of chance/luck always intrigued me, the way some days are better than the others. Initially, I put my faith in a system where certain days of the week I classified as lucky, or more accurately 'good' and others like Tuesday I thought were unlucky.
But this system failed soon enough, as I went through a series of beautiful and glorious months. There were still some days that were necessarily bad during the good months, but they were consumed by the general euphoria of the time. I was still holding on to the idea of good days bad days in a week, without much conviction anymore, but then came the time when the good months ended, and the invisible sun that was shining on me, set leaving a darkness so profound and solid it seemed to be able to cut as if with ragged and jagged claws.
The good months had ended and now what I call the 'despair era' began(see the difference?). Even during the bad months, there were times when I was happy, momentarily or for days on end, but I didn't feel that perpetual sun-like euphoria in the air, only 'despair' hiding during the happy days.
The way I call happy times "sun" and the dark times "despair" are almost like names given to them, but literary devices define this as metaphors and similes, restricting the existence of the whole phenomena to the writer's mind.
What if the happy and dark times are real beings, revolving around eachother and the universe, as two ends of a whole, two dragons snapping at eachother's necks, their influence spreading to the most extremes of circumstances.
But isn't there more sadness in the world than happiness?
I get this intuition that our universe or if we restrict it to the real things, our earth is dominated by the evil at the moment. It flocks in the corners of the world, and has clawed itself into the minds of the dominating species of earth, Humans. Us humans, we are insane fundamentally, as stephen king says.
The balance of the war between the Good and Evil in our minds is constantly tipping towards the Evil, I say this from experience. During the time of judgement, we choose to take the easier path, we ignore, we overlook, and we try not to care, we kill the voice of empathy and apparently it can only voice itself for so long, before it doesn't bother anymore, itself.
We have our own lives to care for, we have our own interests, and our own fears, and lagging for the time we help someone up can mean the difference between 'good' days and 'bad' days, no?
My teacher once preached a very beautiful concept, it's basis is balance, as it is the basis of most things that 'feel' true. He said that to create a society that we would want to live in, we must follow dharma, (pronounced Dharm). Dharm says there are two things you must take care of in your lives, your own individual desires and rights, but not the ones that are in conflict with the desires and rights of the society in large. Charity starts at home, very true, but it doesn't end at home. When we try to dissolve in the equilibrium of our desires and our fears, we hear the 'hukum' or vibrate in the same frequency as the Divine. The wave theory says that universe works in the forms of waves, I feel can put my faith in the wave theory for now, it might not be exceptionally true, but it takes me further to comprehend the under-workings of destiny.
There is this thought, it challenges all the basics my half-formed theories, and it seems that I don't control it's arrival or negation. "What if destiny is just an idea, an imagined idea."
I was really put out by the this thought for a long time, it means that searching for a wider meaning in the daily things we do is just an escape from the reality of the world, that the workings of the universe are just randomly oriented phenomenons. How much do you know about the physical sciences? How randomly oriented exactly is the tiniest of phenomena?
Exactly. Biology, chemistry, Physics, geology, and so forth -ology words, how randomly working are the phenomenons in these subjects?
I wish I've made the point to you, the one that I've made to myself, because while writing, I actually negated That thought again. The only hidden phenomena of the world, the phenomena that rules over the lifespans of Life as a whole. Destiny is real. We all have one, it is the old magic, the meaning behind the never-ending battle between good and evil, the script written by the hand that exists only in every atom of the world. It is a circle, our lives, our deaths, like chapters in the volumes of the best story ever written, best because it's what really exists. Destiny humbles me, takes away my fears and soothes my desires with the potion of patience. I don't know much, but for now, believing in it will be enough.
Thank you, I know I can rant sometimes. :*