Stars and society

Stars and society.

Host: Hey folks, Good evening. We have today in our studio the local newspaper delivery guy, who also claims to be an author. Let’s find out what this person from the ‘society’ is all about, and then, as you know, we will have a very special star amidst us, and this lucky fellow right here will be starry-eyed,then  I think. *laughs*

(with a nonchalant smile) Alright, Rahul, did you have any idea that you would end up on live T.V when you woke up this morning?

Guest: I didn’t wake up. I was up all night.

Host: (fakes laugh) Busy working on that novel of yours, I suppose. What is it about?

Guest: No.

Host: No? (fakes laugh again and looks at the camera, uncertain)

Guest: I wasn’t working on my novel. I couldn’t understand when the night slipped by, I was doing the usual inconsequential thing, surfing the net, passing the time. You know, like the average person is doing, procrastinating from actually doing something.  *chuckles in good humor*

Host: Oh, that’s a lot of generalization. This world is full of ambition-driven people.

Guest: Yeah, I’m sure you think so and those people are the ideal people too. I absolutely understand what you feel.

Host: Oh, you do? *laughs*

Guest: You’re probably right, I’m not really benefiting from it, and not liking anything about it. It’s like the joker said, “tell the people that a mayor or commissioner is about to die, and everybody loses their minds”Nobody wants the system to collapse, we’re addicted to it. Addicted to wasting time. Addicted to letting it be. *smile*

Host: Wait, what? Do you believe that, really?

Guest: I don’t know what I believe. I’ve just felt that this world is wrong, everyday of my life.

Host: Aw, you know what, Rahul, you don’t have to feel that way. I think, we’re all there for you, in spirit.

Guest: How much do you get paid for this bullshit.I know I can never be paid enough to be this corny. *smiling good naturedly at the stunned host* But the paradox here is that I want to believe you, that’s how we’ve been programmed.

Host: You’re a complicated person, I suppose, do you need help?(fidgeting)

Guest: (seriously)I think so, yeah. I need help.

Host: Uh, yeah, well folks, Mr. Rahul the paper man, is feeling very blue today, let’s see if we can chee-

Guest: (snort) I don’t need  to be cheered up.

Host: Oh, you don’t? I think, we all need to be cheered once in a while? Am I right, folks?

Guest: I think I said I need help, not a clown, even though I never understand what’s so fucking hilarious about a man in that particular attire.

Host: Alright, Mr. Rahul, who do you think you need help from then? I hear candy can brighten a man’s day, but I suppose you’re against Candy too?

Guest: Where did you hear that? A candy brightens nothing, it sucks your teeth out.

Host: ooh, such negativity. Let’s see if we change our guest’s mind today folks, but right after this short bre-

Guest: (in a mock serious tone) Not yet, folks. I still have to answer the previous question Mr. Larry banks had asked.Who do I think I need help from? Ah.(closing eyes, camera zooming in) I don’t know, but when I close my eyes I see these white robbed muscled men, bearded, staring down at me with a knowing smile.(raised left hand in a mock salute) “Come, join our ranks” I want them to say. I want them to tell me that the world is dominated by the bad guy, and we are on the losing side, but they smile through this message and then look at eachother. “We are not fighting for anyone of us, we are fighting so we don’t feel so pathetic, everyday, waking up to the same undignified face and sleeping over the same guilt-struck conscience”.

Host: (looking like this wasn’t his place) Um, That sounds like you’re delusional, I suppose? (shrugging at the camera)

Guest: (gravely) Yeah, I hope so too.

Host: (in his phony mockhorror voice) You don’t really mean that.

Guest: (opening his eyes) I do, actually. It’ll be better if there’s something so wrong with my head, than the world. I wanted to fall in love with the world, actually, but the world is making it so hard.

Host: (stumped, forgetting all about the show) What do you mean?

Guest: I don’t know, I look at all the people in my life and I don’t feel the warmth of human lives at all. I’m sure you know about the zombie apocalypse, well, I suppose it’s not just fiction after all. When you see all these unthinking people wasting all their lives trying to get money, so they can buy things they don’t need. I don’t know, sounds like a harebrained world to me.

Host: (recovering quickly, but still a bead of sweat clings to his forehead)*laughs* You’re weird, Mr. Rahul. Who says you don’t need all the new things that are there. Your comfort is increasing day by day and it is only the pessimists and masochists who complain about having all the luxuries.

Guest: Luxury? I wouldn’t call my life luxurious, even if I have what you call the best of this world. Luxury is a façade, I think. It is made tempting but after you have it, then what? It’s the road to getting it that you like, you’re made to like,so you know that you have to appear better-off than your neighbor, or your brother, or your colleague. I’d think these people would be better suited if they were your pals, not your competition.(looks at the camera hopelessly, dreamly)

So many kids are watching T.V right now, so many kids have been watching T.V all day long. (sigh)

 (looks up and unravels in a roll) It starts from school, I feel. When you see these happy kids in the advertisements, and their parents are buying them the tastiest-looking shit, and the most expensive of games and toys. Yo, kids, what happened to creativity? Building your own big ass robots, or going bananas in the sandbox, where that the boogeyman go? He’s still there you know, right in your room, but he has evolved now, he knows hecan no longer dominate you through fear, so he pretends to be the bad guy. Do you understand it? Boogeyman is really clever, isn’t he? Do you know where you can find him? You’re looking at it. Say hello to the boogeyman and then turn off the boogeyman, because boogeyman is bad. *laughs*

Mommies, I’m sure you didn’t get who the Boogeyman is and you probably think that I’m the devil, so here it is, I’ll break it down for you. The Television is the boogeyman.

*pauses*

*looks at the stunned host*

*looks back at the camera with a smile*

“yew’re weirt, unkal Rahul, wyatever”

Host leans to his right as if listening to someone whisper in his ear.

Host: So, according to you, everything is wrong? Everything with this world?

Guest: (animatedly) **improv**

No, I think only one thing is wrong. That we still call ourselves homo sapiens. I suppose homo sapiens have died out, we have been forced to evolve into sheeple now. So the ‘proper’ people can truly rule the world without any hot-blooded old school warrior ripping their hearts out of their chests for raping this end of the universe.

Host: HAHAHA. I’m wasting my time with this weird personality, folks. Mr. Rahul, if you need any help to find help that fits your specific condition, please do let us know. *camera zooms in*

 Stay tuned for our next segment, when we interview the new teen pop sensation. You know who she is, she was recently in the news for her top of the charts single. Yeah, give me an H, give me a O, I’m a Hoe. That’s right, people. Please stay tuned. We’ll be right back. *weird noise in the background*

*crowd cheers*